FAQ/Satellites
What are Satellites?
Flip on your TV, you might get unlucky enough to witness NASA or Google sending another "Satellite" into "Space".
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 - LIFTOFF!
Rockets burning literally tons and tons of fuel... Birds flying by... Crowds cheering... Constant "blah, blah" from the news presenters!!! Hurray!!! Yes, another multi-million dollar dumpster in "Space" that promises to provide better services for mankind such as telecommunications, television, weather monitoring, or deep space exploration, who wouldn't be excited? (Forget that services haven't actually improved in decades)
The problem is, IT'S ALL FAKE!
Satellites are BALLOONS! Yes, a tin can floating with a balloon (like what you give to your kid for their birthday).
...but, Why would they lie?
Why would somebody lie about a multi-million dollar satellite being sent up on a multi-million dollar rocket when all they do is just send up a balloon? Follow the money - It's all a deception to make you believe that the cost of sending satellites up is very expensive to justify their $55,000,000.00 per DAY budget at NASA (yes 55 MILLION DOLLAR per DAY), not to mention, it's helpful in keeping the fake space fantasy alive.
This is NOT a Satellite
No: Satellites are not sent up in rockets. Satellites in "space" are always CGI adult cartoons. [1]
See document of Balloons used for satellites in the Corona Program, Space and Missile Systems Center Los Angeles, CA. Air Force Base [2]
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A Fake "Satellite" "Launch"
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A CGI "Satellite" in "Space"
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A CGI "Satellite" being released from a CGI rocket in "Space"
This is what Satellites really are
Satellites are actually devices hung on huge football stadium sized helium balloons and released.
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a NASA balloon"Satellite"
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a NASA balloon "Satellite" launch
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a NASA balloon "Satellite" crash
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Google balloon "Satellite" crash
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AstroNOT working on a satellite
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More accurate than what NASA told us about satellites
Yes, Space Launches are FAKE
NASA's rockets just dump into the ocean, of course they cut to full cartoon mode before they show that.
Although NASA is charging us billions dollars for Satellite launches and a CGI cartoon... In reality Satellites are launched from forklifts, hanging on balloons. [3]