FAQ/Making fun of Flerfs
Making Fun of Flerfs
Have you ever been made fun of by someone else? Do you remember what you thought and felt during that experience? Do you still have lasting scars from what you experienced? And did you ever tease others in turn? Let’s examine the psychology behind why some people like to mock others. Then we’ll delve into how to deal with this kind of behavior.
List of Psychological Reasons Why People Make Fun Of Others
1. Insecurity (they put others down to make themselves look better)
A person who constantly makes fun of others is often incredibly insecure about their status in the social group. As a result, they try to climb the social ladder by drawing attention to others’ shortcomings. They tease and mock those around them in an attempt to establish or maintain a position at the top, or at least close to it -Or- they might be quite low in terms of social hierarchy and take opportunities to torment other people to get into their peers’ good graces.
2. Learned behaviors from others
People often mimic the behavior they’ve been exposed to, especially when it comes to family and close social dynamics. As a result, if someone has grown up in an environment where mocking others was normal and commonplace, they’ll be likely to do the same. Sadly, some parents use mockery and negative reinforcement to try to encourage their children to do various things. Guess what those kids are going to do to others (including their own children) as they get older? Additionally the mockingbird media programs people to conform to the rhetoric of the day, or suffer the consequences of become a target of social hostility.
3. They’re uncomfortable with those who are different
Some people make fun of anyone who’s different from them. This might involve mocking those who have different fashion or entertainment preferences, but it can also center on differences in ethnicity or appearance. Xenophobia is a fear of strangers, but it can also refer to a fear of anything foreign or unfamiliar. Xenophobia is why some people get angry if others speak in a language they don’t understand when they’re in their presence. Mockery and belittlement can also be used to reinforce a person’s stance that their choices and preferences are correct and that anything different is somehow weird or “wrong.” A person’s clothing, mannerisms, beliefs, and so on; whatever is different becomes grounds for disdain and ridicule.
4. Projection about their own perceived flaws or shortcomings
When someone dislikes something about themselves, they might make fun of those who also have those traits, but to a greater degree than they do. One classic example of this would be a person who’s overweight but mocks those who have larger bodies. They may even tease those who are trying to get fit. Basically, whatever they hate about themselves, they’ll ridicule in others. It’s self-loathing by proxy.
5. The need to be the center of attention
Some folks get an endorphin rush from the attention that comes from people laughing at their jokes, and they strive to get more of it by any means possible. As such, if someone got an intense reaction after roasting someone else, they might try to recreate the experience. Deep down, they don’t have anything against their victim. It’s very much a situation of: “It’s nothing personal—I just need to burn you because what I say makes others laugh, and that’s great for my ego.”
6. “Better than average effect” (BTAE)
This is a psychological effect in which people show how superior they are to others based on their personal behaviors. Then they put down those who either don’t behave the same way or whose efforts pale in comparison to their own. This is especially common in those whose self-esteem is inextricably entwined with certain life choices. When and if others don’t behave as they do, they feel threatened in their position of perceived superiority and seek to put others down by any means possible. In essence, it’s a type of “holier-than-thou-ism” that manifests as shaming and mockery.
7. Ethical erosion
Ethical erosion is a behavior that’s often demonstrated by people who are in positions of power or authority, such as healthcare providers and law enforcement officers. When and if they come across others they perceive as being morally inferior or stupid, those people become targets for mockery and contempt. A perfect example of this would be a doctor who makes fun of an obese patient for developing diabetes. They shame the patient by telling them that it would have been prevented if they had made “smarter” life choices.
This isn’t limited to healthcare workers, of course. Difficult, stressful times often show us the worst sides of people, causing them to abandon reason, logic, and basic human decency in an attempt to make themselves feel safe and protected.
8. Contempt toward perceived weakness
Have you ever noticed that many of the people who seem the most vulnerable are on the receiving end of mockery and contempt? This is very much a herd mentality situation, in which those who are considered weak will be rejected by the strong. Athletes might make fun of those who are small or unfit. Popular people laugh and tease those whom they consider “weird” or unattractive. The privileged try to maintain their position in the social hierarchy by any means necessary, often by ridiculing others who have less than or are less than in their eyes.
9. Fear
Some people develop a dark sense of humor and use mockery as a coping mechanism when it comes to things that they’re afraid of. If a person is experiencing a difficult situation or is struggling with a health concern, they may find themselves as the butt of jokes by others. One example I can think of is a girl who was going through chemotherapy treatment for leukemia when we were in our teens. She lost about 30lbs as well as all her hair, and she was constantly being made fun of by our peers. Later on, I overheard some students in the restroom discussing how fearful they were of getting cancer themselves. They didn’t have the healthy coping mechanisms needed to work through the difficult emotions they were feeling, so they lashed out instead.
10. They feel powerless, so they try to take power from others
One of the main reasons why people make fun of others is because they feel small. Someone else—possibly an abusive parent or older sibling—has put them in a position where they feel powerless, and they don’t have a healthy means of dealing with it. All the difficult emotions they experience are often because of someone else’s cruelty.
While some people turn everything inward and repress their hurts and frustrations, others lash out at those around them in a process psychologists call displacement. In particular, they’ll choose to unleash their hurt on those who are least likely to fight back in order to feel empowered again.
11. Low emotional intelligence
Some people simply think that anything different from what they like is inferior or dumb and choose to mock it accordingly. They don’t even consider how their behavior affects others, because why would they? Everything they say is hilarious to them, and if you try to argue a differing opinion, well you’re just wrong. If you call them out on their behavior, they’ll laugh even harder and tell you to relax because it’s “just a joke.”
12. Control
Mockery is often a technique that abusers use to control or change others around them. It’s frequently used by narcissists to adjust others into versions that they would prefer, and they can be unrelenting in their abuse until the one they’re making fun of makes the changes demanded of them. The abuser will either fixate on things they want their victim to change or on aspects the victim likes in order to degrade them.
This behavior isn’t limited to narcissists either. Some parents will make fun of their offspring to try to shift them into becoming what they perceive as “better” (e.g., more preferable) versions of themselves. Even worse, their abusive behavior is justified by them as “just trying to help,” when in fact it’s a means of coercion and control.
What To Do When Someone Makes Fun Of You or your beliefs
There are a few different approaches you can take if you’re being teased regularly. These usually involve either calling someone out on their terrible behavior or stopping them from continuing to make fun of you in the future.
Ask them to explain themselves
This is one of the best responses you can use because they never can explain their behavior, which inevitably results in them proving that they’re the a**hole. If someone humiliates you in public, ask them to please explain to the group why what they’ve said is funny.
Don’t let them off the hook when they pull the “it’s just a joke” line, either. Ask them to explain why this is a joke and what is so terribly amusing about it. They will likely either try to change the subject or find a reason to excuse themselves. It’ll cause them a fair amount of embarrassment, so be warned that they might get belligerent or aggressive with you about it later.
Laugh at them
One of the best ways to respond when someone makes fun of you is to laugh at them in turn. These insignificant little petty tyrants have so little going on in their lives that the only joy they get is in trying to make fun of you.
If that isn’t worthy of a chuckle, what is? Refuse to dignify what they’ve said with a response.
If someone has insulted or made fun of you, they’re undoubtedly waiting to see how you respond. They won’t know what to do if you refuse to give them the energy they’re seeking. After they’ve said their piece, just look at them flatly for a few heartbeats, and then turn back to whatever it was you were doing. This lets them know that what they’ve said isn’t worth your time or energy.
Respond with compassion
Keep in mind that other people’s behavior toward you has little to do with you and everything to do with them. As such, disarm their mockery with compassion and kindness, even if you don’t sincerely feel it.
In situations like this, it’s helpful to know some details of their personal life that you can use as fuel for your retort. For instance, if they make fun of your appearance, you can let them know that you understand that they’re going through a difficult time. They usually have no idea how to respond to this and either shut up or leave.
Psalm 112:10 - The wicked will see and be vexed, they will gnash their teeth and waste away; the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.
Be prepared to shut them down
Depending on the situation and the people involved, sometimes it’s better to shut the other person down so they stop permanently, rather than trying to “be the bigger person and rise above.” Sometimes, the best thing you can do to stop someone from making fun of you is to take away their pleasure in doing so by using comeback lines that suck the air out of their sails.
Don't feed the trolls
Trolling behaviors typically include deliberately posting inflammatory comments and argumentative messages in an attempt to provoke, disrupt and upset others. “Trolls” may pretend to be part of the group, but their real intent is to create conflict for their own amusement. Shockingly, more than a quarter of Americans have admitted to engaging in trolling behavior at some point.
Proverbs 29:9. If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he rage or laugh, there is no rest.
Who are the trolls?
Research has defined a typical troll as an internet user who takes on a fake identity, which they then use to cause disruption and trigger conflict among others for their own amusement. The cover of anonymity allows the troll to treat the internet as their personal playground, throwing provocative comments into forums like grenades into a crowd. Trolls remain unknown to victims and, unlike cyberbullying, their victims are unknown to them.
One way to try to understand why people engage in trolling is to investigate whether they are likely to show particular personality traits, such as narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism and everyday sadism – known as the “dark tetrad”.
These traits commonly underpin many forms of social manipulation and deception, and involve a drive for ruthless self-advancement, aggression and, most notably, a lack of empathy and severe callousness. Taking each of the tetrad in turn, narcissism is associated with feelings of superiority and ego-inflation; psychopathy is linked to impulsivity and callousness; Machiavellianism is associated with manipulation and exploitation of others; and sadism is defined as the enjoyment of inflicting pain on others.
A 2014 study found that people with higher levels of sadism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism were more likely to engage in online trolling behavior, with sadism being the strongest predictor.
What’s the ultimate motivation?
If a behavior is rewarding, an individual is more likely to do it. Because trolling depends on interaction with others, we were interested in the social rewards experienced by those who provoke these interactions.
Trolls just want to have fun
There are two forms of social rewards: typical and atypical.
- Typical social rewards generally occur through reciprocal social behaviors and interactions. We experience positive (or typical) social rewards when we engage in helpful, altruistic behavior. But in our study we explored atypical social rewards, also known as “negative social potency”.
- Negative social potency is measured using the Social Rewards Questionnaire, in which participants indicate their agreement with statements such as “I enjoy making someone angry” and “I enjoy embarrassing others”.
These are the rewarding feelings that some people experience when creating social discord, through selfish or self-serving behaviors and interactions. Individuals who seek negative social potency are likely to enjoy inflicting psychological pain and distress on others. They may achieve this through exerting negative social influence, power and strength.
Fighting back
Happily, this discovery suggests an easy way to deal with trolls: ignore them, rather than giving them the satisfaction of an angry reaction. Individuals seeking a negative social reward may still engage in trolling. But if they don’t receive that negative social reward, then their motivation to engage in this behavior will likely diminish.
So it appears that the classic internet adage really does hold true: don’t feed the trolls. Deny them the pleasure of an angry reaction, and they’ll probably leave you alone.
Don’t argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
- Mark Twain
Summary
Ironically, globe believing trolls account for a making a large percentage of Flat-earthers. People see this degenerate trolling behavior and wonder why defending the globe belief often comes with such childish behavior - then they see the calm and loving attitude from the ones seeking the truth. This in turn causes many to start researching the flat earth.
This is another reason to not feed the trolls, and to remember - we were all indoctrinated... waking up isn't easy.