FAQ/Satellites: Difference between revisions
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Rockets burning literally tons and tons of fuel... Birds flying by... Crowds cheering... Constant "blah, blah" from the news presenters!!! Hurray!!! Yes, another multi-million dollar dumpster in "Space" that promises to provide better services for mankind such as telecommunications, television, weather monitoring, or deep space exploration, who wouldn't be excited? (Forget that services haven't actually improved in decades)
<big>The problem is, IT'S ALL FAKE!</big>
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=== This is NOT a Satellite ===
No: Satellites are not sent up in rockets. Satellites in "space" are always CGI adult cartoons. <ref name=AllBalloons></ref>
<gallery>
FakeSatelliteLaunch.jpg|A Fake "Satellite" "Launch"
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</gallery>
=== This is what Satellites really are ===
Satellites are actually devices hung on huge football stadium sized helium balloons and released.
<gallery>
NASAballoon.jpg|a NASA balloon"Satellite"
NASAballoonLaunch.jpg|a NASA balloon "Satellite" launch
NASAballoonCrash.jpg|a NASA balloon "Satellite" crash
GoogleBalloonCrash.jpg|Google balloon "Satellite" crash
AstroNOT working on a satellite.jpg|AstroNOT working on a satellite
Pennywise.jpg|More accurate than what NASA told us about satellites
</gallery>
Although NASA is charging us billions dollars for Satellite launches and a CGI cartoon... In reality Satellites are launched from forklifts, hanging on balloons. <ref name=NASABalloon></ref>
===References===
▲The rockets just dump into the ocean. Of course they cut to full cartoon mode before they show that.
<references>
<ref name="AllBalloons">[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM5fKcU5ClI&t=294s YouTube: ALL SATELLITES ARE ON BALLOONS & 50K ft. (Audio starts at 5 minutes)]</ref>
<ref name="NASABalloon">[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK_kWN0BsKs YouTube: NASA Glenn Research Center Balloon Mission Launch]</ref>
</references>
▲[[File:SpaceLaunchArc.jpg|left|300px]]
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